Thursday, August 7, 2008

It's Hard Being Fat

I have done this before. I have lost and regained 20-30 lbs. I am ashamed to admit that I am severely obese. I am 5'6 and 271 lbs. (again!). I was about 250 just a few short months ago and well on my way to being lighter. Everything was easier -getting up the stairs, walking around the neighborhood, chasing after my kids. Now, it's harder again. I'm more tired. I need more sleep. I eat more. I hurt more. Several excuses come to mind as to why I failed again - a family vacation where I felt I had no control over the food offered to me, a bad back ache -again..., complacency and an abandonment of what I knew was working weight wise. Why did I let it go?

I am determined to change my path in life, determined to do right by my family and children who are invariably suffering because I choose to live in pain. I want to be capable and strong. I want to feel alive again in a way that only losing weight will help me with. I want to dance and jump and feel powerful in my skin.

My next post will be a photo of me. Please be gentle with me. I have a plan, and I know it works if I stick with it. I am determined to be strong and to lose approximately 40 lbs. by my birthday which is December 19. I want to lose 90lbs by the time of my boys 5th birthday.

My back is hurting again. It's another wake-up call to start now, and regain my strength. I am focusing right now on abdominal work, upper body strength and eating 100% on plan until my back is better and I can walk on the treadmill.

1 comment:

new*me said...

this is how I felt when I started. I have made it further this time than ever......usually at about 30 lbs or 3 months, I backslide..I will be 4 months in on Monday. You CAN do this :)