Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Looking pregnant

So I've been feeling a bit less pouchy - less pregnant looking lately. I know most of the time I look pregnant, and after regaining all the weight that I lost (I was 250's back in March/April 2008) I definitely look pregnant. It sucks. Truthfully, I've actually pretended to be pregnant when I've been out in "the public" where nobody knows me, just to make me feel a little better about myself...but seriously, who does that? And also - who am I kidding, if I were pregnant, I'd still look like a obese pregnant mom and which is worse? I don't know who I thought I was kidding.

The fact that I have no core strength at all, topped off with a brutal pregnancy and shocking aftermath of excess skin and stretch marks, makes my once beloved stomach my worst enemy. It is now neck and neck in a tie race of ugliness with my thighs and butt. I'm painting a pretty ugly picture, but that's how I see it.

But I CAN CHANGE all of that. I can move more, I can eat less and I can find a way to get my body back.

So I am going to try and live in the middle ground - and *try* to get rid of my all or nothing mentality.


2 comments:

Autumnseer said...

I saw you post on the "Escape From Obesity" blog. I'm on this journey too, not that far ahead of you. I am also 5'6" and my starting weight in Feb. was 263 and am now at 255, trying to work my way down. Yes you CAN change and I agree we simply cannot have the "all or nothing" mentality - it sets us up for failure every time! I'm really trying to do things very differently now, trying to learn patience and perseverance. We can do this thing IF WE DON'T GIVE UP!

lisa said...

I have done the "pretend to be pregnant thing". You are not alone. Sometimes we do silly things because we feel ashamed. I have become very uncomfortable in my skin with these last 70 pounds (on top of being heavy to start with). I am trying to change AGAIN & get this weight off ONE MORE TIME! We can do it, we just have to keep on trying!